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Giving Your Fear a Restricted Identity For a Healthier You

Updated: Apr 19, 2020


As a brand new Certified Holistic Health Coach from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, I find myself scratching my head on not only what to write for my first blog, but so many other things that involve being vulnerable with my creativity in business.


At the tail end of an academic accomplishment in my life that would normally be an exciting time, I found myself riddled with self doubt and fears of not being enough. The fear triggered by the realization that with the completion of my certification, I will have to take what I’ve learned with not only health coaching, but what I have learned with my studies in Human Development, Psychology, and life experiences, and apply it to the real world to start helping people change their lives.


Delay to Launch

I’ve never been a perfectionist by any means, yet some of the actions I take, or think of taking, resemble that of someone who becomes paralyzed by the misconceptions of perfection. What do I mean by that? Well, it basically means that due to a possible deep-rooted fear, I delay myself from executing something out of my comfort zone. And what’s more out of your comfort zone than starting a new business where most people don’t even know what it is you clearly do?


You know when you're working on a project or something that you need to present, and you try to get every little thing perfect (not including engineering or technologies that people’s lives depend on) before you launch it? What happens? Delays.


Then there seems to be others who complete something at about 80%-85% from “fully” done, launch it, then figure out the rest as they go. For these folks, it seems to typically work out. Again, not including things such as engineering or life saving equipment. Those need to be at 100% before launching those.


In this case, with the marking point of being ready to take on clients, it means putting my creativity out into the world. So of course, I would want everything to be 100% when I launch. But is that needed? Probably not. Well then, why is it I can’t be at 80%, launch, then fine tune things as I go? What stops me? The answer… fear!!


It’s All On Me

I’ve always worked for corporations, small businesses, or for the state, but never have I been self-employed or ran my own business. The fear with putting myself out there as a #healthcoach and building my own business has me kind of shook to say the least. Feelings of not being enough stir up along with doubt, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. These are all-natural feelings to have, but what I don’t have to do is let it immobilize me.


Restricted Identity of Fear

Identifying the fear is a good thing. You want to know why? Because I can clearly state what the fear is and give it a restricted identity. A restricted identity of fear is like creating a character within you that is only allowed a limited amount of time to state their opinions.


Once I translate the feelings into words and give it a restricted identity, I can say to myself and the fear: “ok, it’s alright to feel this but it doesn’t mean that these feelings are who I truly am, or the reality right now”. I also say “thank you for trying to protect me, but I can handle it from here”. I say these because it changes the thought patterns in an empathetic way. This way, you don’t beat yourself up or let shame settle in. You identify the fear, talk to it, then create space for you to instill some good mojo.


New Thoughts

Some of the things that I've learned through studying the therapeutic concepts of Cognitive Behavior Therapy is your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected to your core beliefs. These all connect to each other and therefore to make a deeper change, you have to address all aspects.


By this point you have:

  • identified the fear;

  • given it a restricted identity; and

  • acknowledged the restricted identity then spoke truth to it.

The only thing left to do now is to:

  • instill positive mantras.

For me to instill some good vibes, I said to myself, "I am going to get my website, blog, and main business components to the best of my ability and put it out into the world with good intentions and positive vibes. I know that everything isn’t at 100% to my liking and that’s fine. You know what? It’s good enough and I can mold it as I go". That is an example of instilling a positive outlook based in love, not fear.


When to Apply

By now you must be scratching your head? What does any of this have to do with health and wellness? I would respond… everything!!


When it comes to healthier eating and lifestyle changes, what would you say might be one of the biggest culprits keeping you from attaining your goals? Not the latest diet or fad, but deep-rooted fear within your core beliefs.


These are very intimate things that you want to change. Your vitality. Your well-being. Your life. I know and understand how difficult it is to make those changes. My fears come up almost anytime I’m stepping out of my comfort zone. So, I understand firsthand on how debilitating that fear can be. I’ve also seen the value in using these approaches to help reclaim your health. I've done this within my own personal life. Not only for a first blog (in this case, yes), but to help you through all of those difficult changes in life.

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